During the course of a reading period, we often turn away a third of the submissions received because they tell the story instead of showing it. I recall that when I first began writing, I received that particular critique frequently, and it took me a while to learn what was meant by it and how to avoid it.
In this last reading period, one of the writers whose story didn't make it to publication indicated a similar frustrated confusion, and asked me to explain the difference. I sat down at the keyboard and began to write a reply, and found myself unable to do so.
I thought for a long while how to share what I'd learned. It always seemed to me more like a skill that had to be learned by practice than something that could be acquired through a "how-to" approach. There are several elements that need to be brought together to master "showing," and I couldn't find the right place to start.
A few days later, the power of showing was made abundantly clear to me.
Part of my day job involves a role as co-chair of a standing committee that advocates for the accessibility of information technology to people with disabilities. My group participated in the Governor's Expo on Assistive Technology, a biennial event to raise awareness of the progress in technologies designed to even the playing field for those with disabilities.
We had a full day of programs planned, and as part of our afternoon session in "Accessible Web 2.0," a blind colleague, Jeff Bennett, was enlisted to demonstrate the problems that users of assistive technologies such as screen readers or refreshable Braille displays would have with one of those slick applications that generates widgets and menus on the fly. The room was full, and the crowd was attentive, as we explained the concepts, the problems, and the example being used for our demonstration.
Jeff's laptop had been set up to share the room's AV setup, and when we turned to his portion of the demonstration, he began by explaining how his particular brand of assistive technology, a screen reading program named JAWS, worked when interpreting a web page, and turned the reading rate of the software down to something slow enough for the uninitiated to understand.
As Jeff navigated different web pages, the output of his screen reading software was broadcast over the room's public address system. Ten minutes into Jeff's presentation, I realized that the room had become so quiet that it might have been possible to hear a pin drop.
Our committee has been providing educational programs on how to design and develop accessible web sites for almost ten years now, and in each we tell web developers of the problems they can cause for those using assistive technology if they are not careful about how they program their sites. But nothing is as effective as showing an image of a poorly coded page — that looks fine visually — and listening to how much of the page is missed by the screen reader.
After the presentation concluded, several acquaintances approached to tell me how successful the screen reader demonstration had been. I asked one why.
"This is the first time I've ever seen someone using a screen reader," she said. "I was able to look at the screen, then close my eyes and imagine that voice was my interface to the computer."
Voila! The power of showing. It's a way to engage the audience, a way of bringing them into the demonstration — or the story — and helping to imagine that this is a situation they are experiencing.
Show them what the situation is, make them feel the heat on the city's summer streets, smell the rotting garbage in the filthy alley, feel the grass under their bare feet as they follow your protagonist for a walk in the park. What does your protagonist care about? What does he or she think about? Does she or he feel sad? Angry? Scared? Euphoric? And why?
Answer these questions for the reader by showing them your character's interior life. Show them the things that the character experiences, as they happen. Pull them into the story by allowing them to imagine themselves in the same situation. You can't do that by just telling them what happened. You can't get them to invest in a character or a situation the character experiences unless they can imagine themselves in that character's skin. Show them why the character reacts in the way they do. What does the character fear? What does the character care about?
Imagine yourself as that character and share the experience and your character's feelings with the audience. Practice approaching a story that way and you'll be well on your way to showing instead of telling.